In mid-2009, Conan O’Brien had it all. Money, fame, prestige. After paying his dues for twenty-two years, Conan had finally risen to the top of both NBC and the comedy world. The Tonight Show was all his.
Until it wasn’t.
Because sometimes, things don’t go as planned. Your employer goes out of business; or, the house burns down; or, your wife leaves you for another woman; or, the guy you replaced in your big promotion changes his mind and wants his old job back. It happens.
We’ll do almost anything to try and maintain control over our environment. But really, isn’t it just the illusion of control? In the end, all we can ever hope to control is how we respond or react to people and events. You can’t control what others do or say. But you can control your next move. Sink or swim. Get back on that horse, or just lay there and get trampled.
Conan gave the commencement address at Dartmouth the other day. While most of it was just, in typical Conan fashion, pure silliness – he did open up about his experiences, saving the best for last. A few morsels of Coco wisdom…
Though you should not feel failure, you should do your very best to avoid it. Nietzsche famously said, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.
There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.
It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention.
Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment, you can gain clarity – and with clarity, come conviction and true originality.
Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.
After all he’s been through, Conan is back. Of course, I wonder if anyone’s actually watching him because he’s on TBS, a channel better known for Seinfield re-runs and Atlanta Braves ball games. But that’s not the point. Conan took his licks and then walked with his pride, a nation of loyal fans and supporters behind him (and a big fat severance pay-out in his pocket).
And he’s better than ever…