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This is a ridiculous, but true story. The names haven’t been changed to protect the innocent. It’s about something I did that was so moronic, my penance is to publicly humiliate myself by sharing it with the world…
Since I’m a “digital professional,” I store most of my computer files in multiple locations, usually on external hard drives. These things are great, as they allow you to easily backup your entire computer with the click of the button. They also store 100’s of gigabytes of data, which is important if you do a lot of work with audio and video, as I do.
Before going on a short vacation to Cape Cod a few weeks ago, I found myself thinking about what would happen if these hard drives were stolen. I don’t really care all that much about commodity items like cameras, computers, TVs, etc. Insurance will replace them, (usually with a much better model). It’s the data that’s important - and frequently - irreplaceable.
For example, these disks contained:
- Seven years worth of family photos
- Six months worth of work for a new business I’m launching
- Personal financial records
- And just about every other digital file, picture, video, or document that I’ve worked on in the past five years
Some of the data was still on my computers, but a lot of it wasn’t. So as I was locking up my office before heading out, I did what any other responsible family man / self-employed business man would do: I hid my important stuff where no nitwitted home invader would bother to look…
In the garbage. (I think you know where this is going, don’t you?)
Actually, it was my paper recycling bin. Who would ever think to go through the recycling looking for stuff to steal, when all this cool computer gear is up for grabs and effortlessly within reach?
A week later, we returned from the Cape. Beautiful weather, a bit hot. Great fun swimming and frolicking on the beach. Had a lovely time, thank you.
The next day, it was time to do the household chores. And that includes the monthly “dump run.” (It’s actually a waste and recycling transfer station, but “dump” sounds better, more manly.)
Jump ahead two days to Monday morning. I arrive bright and early, just after 7:00 AM. Fully refreshed after my only week off in more than a year. Rip roarin’ ready to get back to work.
I walk around my office, plugging the electronics back in, turning stuff on. But something isn’t quite right…
“Now where are those external hard drives that connect to these plugs dangling in the air? Oh, that’s right they’re in recycling bin, safely hidden from bad guys. Hey, wait a minute, the tubby is empty. Oh that’s because I went to the...”
AHHHHHHH!
It was one of those Macaulay Culkin, Home Alone type moments.
Realizing I didn’t have a moment to waste, I quickly hopped in my car and sped off (in the rain) to the transfer station, where I expected to find one of the following:
- It would be closed, and I would have to scale the fence and break in.
- It would be open, but I would be sent packing.
- Either of the above, but the dumpster would be empty, or too full for me to go through it and find anything.
I arrived to find the gate open. Good sign. But people were in the office. I envisioned our exchange would go something like…
Excuse me sir, I accidentally threw away a few of my most important possessions the other day…
External computer hard drives…
Hard drives, for data…
Why were they mixed in with my paper recycling?
Yes, I was afraid of bad guys…
Me, paranoid? Yes, just a bit I suppose…
Stupid? Is that a rhetorical question?
Listen - would it be alright if I jumped into that giant dumpster over there and had a look?
Yes, I see that exit sign over there...
So I parked my car and jumped in. The way the station is set up, you throw your waste down into the giant dumpsters, which are maybe 20 feet long, 8 feet wide and 8-10 feet deep.
Problem was, when I was there on Saturday morning, it was only about 1/4 full. Now, it was about 3/4 full. That means four or five feet of paper, folders, boxes and miscellaneous non-recyclable garbage had piled up in the general vicinity of where I thought my devices would be. Since the hard drives are about the size of your average hard copy book, it reminded me of that story about a needle and a haystack.
After searching for about forty five minutes, I started to uncover some of my junk mail, so I knew I was at least searching in the right area. Took a short break, skimmed through someone’s L.L. Bean (alright, Victoria’s Secret) catalogs, and got back to work.
Lifting one sheet of paper doesn’t require much effort. Sorting, moving and digging through tens of thousands (millions?) of pieces of paper is absolutely exhausting, however.
With fingers bleeding, shredded bills and bank statements clinging to my sweaty, dirty hair and body, fighting off avalanches of paper, I was on the verge of quitting.
But then, I had a vision of my wife standing there screaming at me upon my return, “You did WHAT with our baby pictures?!” - and I found the strength to carry on.
After a few more minutes of searching, I caught a glimpse of something shiny among the tons of paper and garbage.
BINGO! I found one. Despite a few minor scratches, it looked OK.
Stopping to take a breather, I noticed the station manager staring down at me, soon followed by another worker. At this point, I really didn’t care if they threw me out. Actually, I was almost hoping they would. I had found the more important of the two hard drives. If I could only return home with one, this would be it.
But upon hearing my pathetic story, they took pity upon my wretched soul and let me continue. You just can’t make this stuff up.
The search continued, but was fruitless. I finally returned home, not a quitter, but to have some breakfast and get my metal detector.
Upon opening the door to greet me, my wife had the look of confused horror on her face. “Where were you?” she asked.
Since I work from home, it’s a bit strange for me to suddenly leave in the morning, only to return a few hours later looking disgusting and dirty, with a strange, shiny little metal box in my hands.
Suffice it to say, I returned to the transfer station an hour later. And within fifteen minutes, I had located the second unit with my metal detector. Upon re-connecting them to my computer, they both worked fine.
Ironically enough, the next day, one of my computer’s hard drives had a complete failure. I lost everything on it. Many of these files had been backed-up to one of the external hard drives I threw away - the second one I almost didn’t find.
All’s well that ends well. Ridiculous story with a happier ending than I deserved. Yes the moral of the story would have been much more powerful (and more entertaining, for you at least) hadn’t I recovered the drives. But I did catch a huge break, and for that I am grateful.
In closing, here are a few things I learned that day which I’d like to share with you:
- Back up your important data in multiple locations.
- Shred any documents you throw away that have personal information on them. (With what I saw in that dumpster, I am simply amazed there isn’t more account-siphoning identity theft.)
- Wear gloves when dumpster diving.
- And of course, don’t hide valuables in the garbage.
- Oh yeah, and take a moment to give thanks when life throws you a break.
Thanks.