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awareness

Skimp on these 7 things at your own peril…

December 21, 2009

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When I buy big ticket items, I like to feel like I’m getting a good deal. Nobody likes paying too much for something. For average household items, my threshold for putting effort into trying to save money is probably about $10. If I think I can save more than that by shopping around a bit, I will. The bigger the potential savings, the more time I’ll invest in the search.

Most people don’t put a price tag on their time, which is a tad ironic, as time is your most valuable asset. Benjamin Franklin warned us in advance, 200+ years ago… “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”

You can’t buy more time. But you can always use your time to make more money. I know someone who will drive fifteen minutes out of the way to save a nickel on a gallon of gas. That’s mental. So it’s obviously a subjective thing.

The price of something always matters, but there are some purchases where cost shouldn’t be the primary concern. So here is my top ten list for things I recommend you never skimp on, no matter how tough times may be:

1 – Chocolate

Green and Blacks Extra Dark ChocolateI mean, good, dark chocolate. Preferably imported and/or organic. At least 70-85% cacoa content. No artificial colors, flavors or additives. The kind that gives you a rush and makes you salivate just thinking about it. Skip the Hershey’s Bar, spend an extra buck or two, and prepare to be amazed by the awesomeness of a real chocolate bar. I enjoy a piece or three of Green & Black’s Organic Dark Chocolate every day. A wondrous, simple little pleasure that’s also good for you.

2 – Beer

Upon tasting his first American beer, author H. Allen Smith is reported to have said, “Put it back in the horse!” Some beer drinkers claim to drink the cheap stuff because, they say, they prefer the taste. I like to believe they just don’t want to admit they’re cheap.
Founders Breakfast Stout
For many a beer-consuming man, there comes a time in his life when he realizes he’s been sold a lie. A pair of half-naked coed twins aren’t really going to magically appear in a hot tub in his living room just because he brought home a case of Coors Light, or Bud Light, or Busch. For some, that’s when the awakening takes place.

If you care about taste, but you’re on a tight budget, a Yeungling Black and Tan won’t disappoint. And when you’re ready to move up, try any one of the specialty beers from Sam Adams (but for the love of all that is holy, skip the Cranberry Lambic). Their Oktoberfest brew is the only good thing about the end of summer. Then see if you can find anything in the top 100 list here. That’s where my wife and I discovered Founders Breakfast Stout, our favorite. And I refuse to go the grave without at least having tried a Trappist Westvleteren 12.

Either way – spend a little more and try something different. Life is too short to drink bad beer. Taste does matter. And the twins aren’t coming.

3 – Professional Personal Service Providers

Falling into this category, you’ll find professionals who provide problem-solving services related to your health, safety, finances – or anyone that helps you look and feel better: an attorney, accountant, dentist, barber, plumber, handyman, mechanic, etc. If you find someone you trust who gets the job done right, don’t waste your time shopping around.

I’ve been using the same tax preparer for 13 years. H&R Block or some software program could do it for less. But my guy is on top of the complex, ever-changing tax laws. He keeps me out of trouble, frees me so I don’t have to spend any more time than necessary thinking about taxes, and hopefully saves me money in the long run.

4 – Razor Blades

Tis but a flesh woundI usually shave in the shower. I don’t usually bleed half to death in the process. Until the other day, that is, when I decided to try a brand new Gillette Mach 7 Warp Speed Nitro Power Nuclear Fusion disposable razor. On my first attempt to cut a swath through a day’s worth of stubble, I felt my skin rip and let loose a loud girlie scream reminiscent of the time my parents told me where babies come from.

I’ve used Gillette razor blades for years, but disposables always seemed kind of cheap, so I stayed away from them. But, with the economy being the way it is, I decided to try and save a few bucks by cutting corners here and there. Corners aren’t the only thing I cut. No more disposable razors for me.

5 – Birth Control

6 – Shoes

7 – Toilet Paper

Listen… I could give you all kinds of examples of what happens if you skimp on any of these last three, but really, it’s too frightening. So please, use your imagination, and promise me you won’t skimp on them – OK? Consider this my gift to you.

What won’t you skimp on?

Go ahead and use the comment form below to share some things you buy where price isn’t the primary concern. What won’t you skimp on?

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Healthcare problem solved in five simple steps…

December 16, 2009

There are many joys to self-employment. No boss. No commute. No deadlines (other than the ones that are self-imposed). I’m there to put my kids on the bus in the morning, and I walk them home in the afternoon. I make my own schedule, and come and go as I please. I usually go to work in jeans, and have been known to enjoy a late afternoon beer at my desk. That’s how I roll…

jack-the-shiningSure, there are some downsides to working for yourself. The company picnic isn’t much fun. I have to remember to pay quarterly estimated taxes. And since I work from home, I have a tendency to go absolutely batshit crazy during these long New England winters. Come February, I begin to feel a bit like Jack in The Shining. My wife has been known to hide the rope and bullets.

But of course, one of the biggest drawbacks to working for yourself is that the health benefits blow. I have one of those high-deductible plans ($5,600/year) to keep the monthly premiums low. This means I’m out of pocket for everything until that point (with premiums, we’re talking about $8,000-$9,000 per year, give or take an ER visit).

Sick visits, check-ups, vaccines… all mine. My wife’s annual physical with all her girlie tests and bloodwork usually runs me $600-$800. My six-year old son gets frequent ear aches. A recent visit to the ear doctor: $350. Prescription nasal spray: $97. Waiting an hour and a half to see a doctor so he could tell me something I already knew: priceless.

Well, boo-hoo for me, right? But since I’ve never had a “real job,” I don’t know otherwise. It goes with the territory.  Considering more than 45 million people are uninsured in the U.S. right now, I’m just glad I have health insurance and can afford to pay the ridiculous premiums that give me nothing in return. Hopefully, they’ll be there for me if I ever really need them.

To be honest with you, I find all this talk of socialized or nationalized health care so amusing. In a recent World Health Organization health-care ranking, France came in first, while the U.S. rocked it in 37th (but at least we’re not lowly Cuba, waaay down in 39th place). While this news at first helped to rally support for healthcare overhaul, it is unlikely our system and shameful ranking will improve much any time soon – for two main reasons:

1. The United States is broke(n). We borrow money from China and other countries just so we can stay afloat and keep fighting two wars that can never be won. The only way to pay for it is by borrowing more, cutting existing services, and increasing taxes. Ugh.

2. People, especially Big Business, hate change. There are too many powerful people who like things just the way they are: insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, politicians. For big business, change = risk, and risk is bad. This has nothing to do with what’s best for the American people. It simply is the way of things.

While I may seem cynical or pessimistic, I’m really more of a realist. I’m simply not counting on the yo-yo’s in Washington to make my problems (e.g., costly healthcare) disappear. And neither should you. That’s why I went ahead and created my own healthcare reform plan to help any of my fellow Americans who may be sitting around on the couch, munching on Doritos, waiting for the government to save the day… New and Improved Universal Health Plan - Guaranteed to Work!So while you can’t change the health care system, you can do things to greatly improve the quality and quantity of your years. Be proactive. Don’t wait for illness to take over your life. I know it sounds overly simple and trite, but try to stay healthy. Read about proper diet and lifestyle habits from highly regarded experts such as Dr. Andrew Weil. Start an exercise regimen. A healthy, fit body is better at fighting off disease than one that is sedentary and regularly stuffed with junk food. Poor choices cause more health problems than anything else.

Just remember: No one is coming to the rescue.

It’s up to you…

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Here’s what you really want – whether you know it or not…

November 19, 2009

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I know what you really want.

Do you?

While most won’t admit it, we’re really nothing more than a bunch of Homer Simpsons running around in relentless pursuit of donoughts and beer, in the hopes that we can:

  1. Avoid pain, and;
  2. Experience pleasure.

And if we are experiencing pain, or a lack of pleasure, we want to change the way we feel, so that we can feel good. And we want to feel good… NOW.

    Unfortunately, most of us go about our lives in non-thinking auto-pilot mode, not aware of this unwritten law of human nature responsible for just about everything we do. And this unconscious desire to feel good has a tendency to get us into trouble, frequently manifesting itself through impulsive and self-destructive behavior.

    Some people, however, are fortunate to have learned the value of delayed gratification. A child who is encouraged to put aside a portion of his allowance each week in order to buy a much desired bicycle will experience short-term pain (e.g., not being able to buy a pack of baseball cards every week). But he will soon experience the pleasure that comes with owning and riding the bicycle… freedom, excitement, new adventures. He will then remember that the pain was temporary, and it was worth it not to blow the weekly stipend on something that would only provide a fleeting feel-good moment. He learns that the really good things in life are worth the wait.

    One of the reasons for our current worldwide economic debacle is that we (more specifically: Americans) as a society have either forgotten, or never learned, the value of waiting, working and sacrificing. Credit has made that possible. It allows us to experience pleasure first, to get what we want so that we may feel good now – all without the wait. “I’ll work and save later to pay off the bills.” But the opposite side of credit is debt, the long-term pain which quickly squashes that short-lived pleasure.

    Keep in mind, easy credit isn’t to blame for our mess. Without banks and access to capital, there would be no industry, no healthcare system, no global economy. It is simply a tool. Used wisely, it can create great wealth for some, and raise the standard of living for millions. But it is a tool with a tremendous ability to cause both pleasure and pain. It’s all in how you choose to use it.

    Tools and actions either bring you closer to the results you want, or they don’t. What results do you want? Prioritize, and know what you ultimately want to do, have or achieve – and then decide if the action you’re contemplating makes sense:

    • Do you want to fit into that bathing suit next summer? Well good for you, chubs! So put down that donut, push yourself away from the table, and remind yourself of how good you’ll look and feel on the beach next summer once you’ve lost a few pounds.
    • Do you want to be out of debt within the next year? Then stop buying crap you don’t really need and start focusing on how great it will feel when you no longer owe anyone any money.
    • Trying to quit smoking? Stop trying. Just do it. Sure you can. My four pack-a-day father quit cold turkey 30 years ago when the doctor told him he’d be dead in a year if he didn’t. Sure you’ll be irritable and twitchy in the short-term. But long-term, you look and feel great. Otherwise, there may not be a long-term.

    Anything that has the potential to deliver immediate gratification can bite you on the ass when you’re not paying attention. Whether it’s drinking, smoking, gambling, overeating, compulsive shopping, buying a home beyond your means… every short-term pleasure has its long-term price.

    The secret is to be aware of the fact that almost everything we do, we do so we can feel good and avoid pain – for as long as possible. Work through the short-term pain to obtain long-term pleasure. Self-awareness is the key. Teach yourself the value of waiting and to appreciate your sacrifice.

    Donut with BiteIt makes the eventual reward that much sweeter…

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    This is Egor. He lives in my head…

    November 17, 2009

    Post image for This is Egor. He lives in my head…

    I’d like to introduce you to Egor. He is the little demon who lives in my head. I’m willing to bet he probably spends a fair amount of time in your head, too. His hobbies include: criticizing, complaining; inspiring negativity, pettiness and jealousy; and, crushing delicate new ideas before they’ve had a chance to sprout and blossom. Meaner than mean. Nastier than nasty. Egor will ruin your life, if you let him…

    Sometimes I don’t hear from Egor for a while and I think he’s found a new place to live. But it turns out that he was just napping. And when hen he wakes up and rears his ugly head, oh man, is he harsh. Maybe your Egor is similar to mine. He might say things like:

    This is Egor. He's a nasty little bugger.

    Who is this Egor and what does he want?

    My wife and I were out enjoying an autumn morning walk yesterday. We were talking about one of my projects, and I fell into a temporary stupor of negativity, whining about why I couldn’t do something I wanted to do. My wife said, “Ah, looks like your ego is taking hold again.” I then smiled, realizing it wasn’t “me” who was feeling inferior. It was just the voice of my ego.

    Having a degree in psychology, I’d long been familiar with the term “ego,” but more in a Freudian id, ego, super-ego sense (according to Dr. Sigmund “Tell Me About Your Mother” Freud, these are the three main components of the human psyche). But it wasn’t until I discovered the book The Power of Now ten years ago by a then-unknown author, Eckhart Tolle, that the term took on a powerful new meaning.

    EGOR = EGO = UNCONSCIOUSNESS

    In A New Earth, Tolle’s follow-up to The Power of Now, he says:

    eckhart-tolle-black-n-white“Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of the voice. The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness [emphasis added]. Every time it is recognized, it is weakened.”

    Most people hear some kind of a voice in your head. For some, it comes and goes. But for others (most), it’s incessant. Here’s what you need to know about that nagging voice: it isn’t you. You are not the voice in your head. It is that of Egor the Ego. You are not him. He is not you.

    Perhaps you’re thinking, “What voice? I’m not some schizoid-nutball like you with voices in my head!” But the thing is, that voice making the angry denial is the voice in your head.

    When I first encountered this new idea in The Power of Now, I thought to myself, “Of course I’m the voice in my head! Who else would I be?!” But then, I had one of those glorious “Ah-Ha!” moments. It suddenly dawned on me: If I really am the voice, the thinker – then who is listening to the voice and watching the thinker?

    The watcher. The real Me. And the real you.

    Compulsive thinking run amuck

    That voice almost seems to have a life of its own. Tolle says, “Most people are so completely identified with the voice in the head – the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it – that we may describe them as being possessed by their mind.”

    This egoic false self fueled by an addiction to compulsive thinking has other names. Albert Einstein referred to it as “an optical illusion of consciousness.” Tolle sometimes refers to it as the “unobserved thinker.” The ego isn’t right or wrong, good or bad. It is simply an unconscious and dysfunctional identification with thought.

    It sounds bizarre. Most people I talk to have difficulty with the concept, which is why I don’t bring it up in social settings unless I hope not to be invited back. Maybe they don’t want to get it. It’s scary at first. The sudden realization that you are not who you thought you were your whole life can be overwhelming. But with that, comes the realization that you are actually so much more.

    What’s important to know is that the ego thrives on things like fear and greed – anything with emotional attachments that can take you out of the present moment. When you are present, you are conscious. When you are worried about the past or the future, you are unconscious, and under the influence and control of Egor.

    Awareness is the key

    If you are interested in exploring this further, I recommend you first read The Power of Now and/or A New Earth. I cannot do them justice in a short article here. Check with your local library if you don’t want to buy them. And once you’ve read at least one of them, check out the free Oprah/Eckhart teleseminars. While I admit, there is a certain snooze factor to the videos, there is much to be learned – if you can stay awake long enough.

    My goal isn’t to try and convince you that your current way of looking at yourself and how you fit in the world is wrong, and I am right. I just want you to know that maybe, just maybe, there’s something important you’ve been missing all along. Something that can permanently free you from the chains of negativity, hopelessness and despair that bind so many people.

    And here’s the best part: it’s free. You don’t have to sell all your belongings and donate everything to some new age church. You don’t have to buy an expensive course, go back to school or even abandon your faith. You just need to open your mind to the possibility that you are not your thoughts. And then watch what happens. Just being aware that there is a separateness from your thoughts is all it takes. For me, this new awareness helped bring about peace of mind and a better way of life.

    The secret to silencing Egor is simple: You don’t fight him. Just stay in the moment. Be aware, and be here, now. That’s it.

    So back to that walk with my wife…

    Once I became aware that the self-sabotaging voice wasn’t me, I felt a sudden burden had been lifted. The pressure and negativity were gone. I was back in the moment. As soon as I realized my concerns were nothing but a messy cocktail of fear and regret, peace returned and I was able to focus and get back to work.

    So, we decided to name our ego. This way, when it starts taking over, when we start fretting about things that happened, or worrying about events we have yet to experience, we can say, “Oh, no worries. It’s just Egor.”

    And then he just fades away…Lonely Egor

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